XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS
SUBTEXT VIRTUAL SEASON 8

PRODUCTION #V803
A Muse in the Hand – Part 1

VIRTUAL AIRDATE
November 13, 2002

WRITTEN BY
TNovan

PRODUCED BY
Carol Stephens

DIRECTED BY
Denise Byrd

SCREENGRABS
Judi Mair

ARTWORK
Lucia

TITLE GRAPHIC
Linda (Calli)

Xena: Warrior Princess is a trademark and copyright of Universal/StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures.  This is a fan based not-for-profit work of fiction and is not intended to infringe upon their rights.

TEASER
 
FADE IN:
 
EXT. SHIP DECK - DAY
 
Xena is leaning on the rail of the ship grinning from ear to ear as Gabrielle watches the land grow closer and closer.
 
XENA
You're excited.
 
Gabrielle pulls back a little and starts to deny it, and then she just wobbles her head back and forth and smiles.
 
GABRIELLE
Okay, I admit it. I'm excited. I mean c'mon Xena, not EVERYONE gets an invitation to go see Sappho.
 
Xena chuckles and rubs her partner's back as she turns to watch the land growing closer.
 
XENA
I wouldn't call a request for help an invitation.
 
GABRIELLE
Semantics. You say ladle.  I say bear.
 
XENA
Right.
 
GABRIELLE
This is going to totally make up for missing her on my birthday.
 
XENA
That wasn't my fault.

GABRIELLE
You should have check....
 
Xena holds up her hand and cuts Gabrielle off.
 
XENA
I don't need that lecture again.  Besides, I got you the poem.
 
Gabrielle slides over and into Xena's arms.
 
GABRIELLE
Yes, you did. Thank you.
 
Xena wraps her arms around Gabrielle and kisses the top of her head.
 
XENA
You already thanked me. 
(beat)
Thoroughly.
 
Gabrielle pokes Xena in the ribs as she laughs.
 
GABRIELLE
Be good.
 
Xena leans in and whispers in Gabrielle's ear.
 
XENA
I'm always good.
 
Gabrielle can only shiver from the chills that Xena's breath on her ear cause. Xena chuckles and holds her even tighter.

GABRIELLE
So why do you think she wants to see us?
 
XENA
I have no idea. The letter she sent didn't say. She just asked that we come and help her.
 
GABRIELLE
You've met her, right?
 
XENA
Nope.
 
GABRIELLE
But the poem....
 
XENA
I had a little help from Aphrodite on that one. We were busy with our little virgin friend at the time. Remember?
 
GABRIELLE
Gotcha.
 
Xena looks down at Gabrielle and smiles.
 
XENA
You are really excited, aren't you?
 
GABRIELLE
Yes! Xena, to a bard... to any creative person, Sappho is an example of the best. We all strive to be like her.
 
Xena bursts out laughing so hard that she takes a step back. Gabrielle turns to face her, confusion clearly written across her face.
 
GABRIELLE 
(Cont’d)
What?

XENA
Let's just say that you may be more alike than you know.
 
GABRIELLE
What's that supposed to mean?
 
XENA
Well, you're both writers and let's say, from what I've heard about her, Sappho has rather
(beat)
eclectic tastes in 'companionship'.
 
Gabrielle looks confused for a moment then the realization of Xena's words hit home.
 
GABRIELLE
Oh. Okay, I gotcha.
 
Xena just gives her a knowing wink then proceeds to embrace her again.
 
XENA
Maybe if everything goes well we can spend a few extra days and take a little break. We've been pushing it pretty hard these last few weeks.
 
GABRIELLE
Such is the life of a hero. People to rescue, villages to save....
 
XENA
I wouldn't call my last adventure of sticking my arm up that cow’s....
 
GABRIELLE
(cutting her off)
Don't say it. It was gross enough. I don't need a reminder.

XENA
Well, I wouldn't call it exactly heroic.
 
GABRIELLE
Hey, you saved that little calf's life. And that farmer was so grateful he paid you with that lovely chicken.
 
XENA
True, but it takes something out of the gesture when I was the one who had to chase it down.
 
GABRIELLE
Yeah, but it was good. It had been a long time since we had a nice chicken dinner.
 
Above them, the Captain of the ship starts giving orders to the crew to prepare for docking.
 
XENA
C'mon, let's get our gear.
 
FADE OUT.
 
END OF TEASER

ACT ONE
 
FADE IN:
 
EXT. TOWN - DAY
 
Xena and Gabrielle disembark from the ship, walking down the gangplank into the bustling shore town. Xena stops and reaches into the pack she is carrying. Retrieving a piece of parchment she reads it over again then puts it back in the sack.
 
XENA
We're supposed to find a man named Delivin. He owns the local stables. Sappho said she has arranged a carriage for us.
 
GABRIELLE
A carriage? You mean we get to travel like royalty instead of getting blisters on our butts?
 
XENA
I don't get blisters on my butt any more. It's too tough.
 
Gabrielle smiles and looks at the area in question.
 
GABRIELLE
Not the last time I checked.
 
XENA
(slightly embarrassed)
Be good.
 
Gabrielle moves toe to toe with her partner and gives her a very silly grin.
 
GABRIELLE
In the words of a very wise friend of mine, 'I'm always good'.
 
XENA
Then there are days like today when you're an evil little tease.

GABRIELLE
(blinking innocently)
Who me?
 
XENA
Yeah, you.
 
Xena smiles and gives Gabrielle's nose a little tweak.
 
XENA 
(Cont’d)
Let's get going. I'd like to be there before dark. Her letter says her place is on the other side of the island.
 
They turn and make their way through the streets, looking for any sign of the stables. Xena begins to notice that most people are taking notice of them. Her senses heighten, but she feels like there's no trouble afoot. She watches as people step to the side and talk to each other in whispers, giving them quick glances as they continue on. Gabrielle gives Xena a little nudge and addresses her out of the side of her mouth.
 
GABRIELLE
Why are they looking at us like that? Do we have something they haven't seen before?
 
XENA
You got me. Maybe they're not accustomed to warriors coming through here. I wouldn't think this would be the kind of place they'd take a vacation.
 
GABRIELLE
Makes sense. Maybe you should take your sword off. We don't want them to think we're
here to start trouble.
 
XENA
Over my dead body.
 
Gabrielle gives Xena a look that shows her dislike for that particular phrase.
 
XENA 
(Cont’d)
Sorry, wrong choice of words.
 
Xena finally decides to take the matter at hand and moves to one of the locals.
 
XENA 
(Cont’d)
Excuse me?
 
The MAN turns, he looks at them both and then back to Gabrielle, his face breaks into a huge smile.
 
MAN
My dear, you look wonderful. I like what you've done with your hair. But the outfit is definitely NOT you.
 
Xena and Gabrielle look to each other, seriously confused. Gabrielle clears her throat and smiles.
 
GABRIELLE
Thanks.
(beat)
I think.
 
Xena steps forward towards him and gets his attention again.
 
XENA
Could you tell us where the stables are?
 
The man looks between them, also seriously confused, but he shrugs it off and points down the street.
 
MAN
Just down that way then turn left. You can't miss it.
 
XENA
Thanks so much. C'mon, Gabrielle.
 
As they walk away a WOMAN joins the man. She watches the duo walk away, and then turns to her husband.
 
WOMAN
It looks like Sappho has found another one.
 
MAN 
And something's up. The warrior called her Gabrielle.
 
WOMAN
I don't even think I want to know why. She's a strange, strange woman.
 
CUT TO:
 
EXT. TOWN - DAY
 
After managing to find the stables, Xena knocks on the door as she sticks her head in to see if anyone is around.
 
XENA
Hello?
 
Delivin, the young man who is the local holster, comes out of the back, wiping his hand on a rag. He's not looking at them as he moves to the front of the stables. He tucks the rag in his pocket and looks up. 
 
DELIVIN
Oh it's you! I've got your carriage fixed. It's ready to go whenever you are.

XENA
What?
 
He looks to Xena then shyly points at Gabrielle.
 
DELIVIN
Her carriage. It's fixed.
 
Xena is beginning to wonder if everyone here is just a little nuts.
 
XENA
Riiiiiiiight. Thanks.
 
DELIVIN
Give me just time to hitch up the team and you can be on your way.
 
Delivin exits the building, leaving Xena and Gabrielle looking at each other in disbelief.
 
GABRIELLE
Now I know why she sent for us.
 
XENA
Why?
 
GABRIELLE
Because she wants us to get her off this crazy island.
 
XENA
I wonder what kind of things they grow around here.
 
GABRIELLE
What? You lost me.
 
XENA
I think they're all putting a little extra henbane in the nutbread.
 
Gabrielle laughs, but it's cut short with the return of Delivin.
 
DELIVIN
You're all set. Should be a beautiful evening for a drive. Have fun.
 
XENA
We will. You want to tell us which way to go?
 
Delivin looks to Gabrielle and shrugs his confusion, gesturing aimlessly.
 
DELIVIN
You know how to get there. Follow the south road until you reach the gates.
 
Gabrielle smiles at him, giving him the kind of smile one gives when they don't want to upset a lunatic and then takes Xena's arm.
 
GABRIELLE
Thank you. C'mon, Xena, let's get going.
 
Gabrielle practically drags Xena out of the building to the waiting carriage. After a brief hesitation on Xena's part, they climb into the very comfortable little buggy and head down the southern road.
 
CUT TO:
 
EXT. DAY – SOUTHERN ROAD
 
Xena reins the team, stopping them just outside a set of gates. The gates are attached to tall stone walls that seem to go on forever in either direction.
 
GABRIELLE
See I was right.  She's afraid of those people.
 
Xena climbs out of the carriage, and then assists Gabrielle out. She walks up to the gates and looks at the large bell hanging from the wall.
 
XENA
Huh, look at this. It's a door and a bell. Does that make it a doorbell?
 
Gabrielle rolls her eyes at the very bad joke.
 
GABRIELLE
Just ring the thing.
 
Xena grabs the rope and gives the bell a pull. A moment later the gates are opened. An extremely handsome young man greets them. His jaw drops open when he sees Gabrielle, and he looks back and forth between the estate beyond the gates and Gabrielle.
 
YOUNG MAN
How did you get out here?
 
Gabrielle puts a hand on her hip.
 
GABRIELLE
I rode in this carriage.
 
YOUNG MAN
But....
 
XENA
(cutting him off)
Look, we're here to see Sappho.
 
YOUNG MAN
Wha...?  I don't....

Xena cuts him off again.

XENA
Is she here or not?
 
YOUNG MAN
Obviously.
 
GABRIELLE
(mumbling)
To you, maybe.
 
XENA
Just let us in.
 
The young man steps back and waves them in.
 
YOUNG MAN
(stammering)
Yes, of course I'm so sorry.
 
XENA
Finally.
 
They walk in past him. He grabs the reins for the horse and leads them behind the gates, which he then orders closed. He tosses the reins to another man standing near him and then scuttles to catch up with Xena and Gabrielle.
 
YOUNG MAN
(to Gabrielle)
Please forgive me. I didn't mean to upset you. It was just such a shock to see you standing there.
 
GABRIELLE
We've been getting a lot of that today. I'd really just like to go somewhere and rest for a few minutes.
 
YOUNG MAN
Of course. Of course.
 
The young man practically runs a few paces ahead of them, leading them into the main house. He leads them down a long hall then stops and turns, bowing to them.
 
YOUNG MAN 
(Cont’d)
I'll see to dinner. And bring it to your room.
 
Before either of them can say a word he dashes back down the hall the way they came and is gone. They watch him go then slowly turn and look down the long hall with a half dozen doors on either side.
 
GABRIELLE
Care to guess which one is ours?
 
XENA
Like I care. Pick one.
 
FADE OUT.
 
END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO
 
FADE IN:
 
INT. BEDROOM - EVENING
 
Gabrielle is laying face down on a huge bed. It's obvious she's had better days. Xena is pacing back and forth like a caged tiger.
 
XENA
Something is not right here.
 
GABRIELLE
Ya think?
 
XENA
Okay, you stay here. I'm going to try and find some answers.
 
Gabrielle sighs and lifts her head.
 
GABRIELLE
No, no.  I'll go with you. I think we should stick together until we figure out what's going on.
 
She pushes herself up from the bed. Just as they are about to leave the door opens and SAPPHO enters. Xena's jaw drops, and Gabrielle just stares. Before she notices Gabrielle, Sappho addresses Xena.
 
SAPPHO
Who are you and what are you doing in my room?
 
GABRIELLE
What are you doing with my face?
 
SAPPHO
Excuse me?
 
She draws closer to Gabrielle giving her an extensive looking over.
 
SAPPHO 
(Cont’d)
Seems you have MY face.
 
She reaches out and touches the ends of Gabrielle's hair.
 
SAPPHO
(Cont’d)
And a hideous haircut. What did you do that with... a dull knife?
 
Gabrielle pulls away and gives her best indignant look. She's busy fuming when Xena's laughter begins ringing through the room. Both women turn to face her.
 
GABRIELLE/SAPPHO
What?!
 
XENA
Gabrielle, this explains everything! Those people in town weren't crazy. They thought you were Sappho.
 
Gabrielle looks to the tenth muse and nods her head slowly. Except for the long hair that the poet sports, they could indeed be twin sisters.
 
GABRIELLE
You know, I think I like it better short.
 
SAPPHO
(insultedly)
Speak for yourself. I happen to like it long.
 
XENA
Okay ladies, this discussion is fascinating but,
(to Sappho)
You called us here for a reason.
 
SAPPHO
I called you here?
 
XENA
Yes, I'm Xena and this is Gabrielle.
 
Sappho relaxes considerably and smiles at them. 
 
SAPPHO
I'm sorry. You have no idea the stress I've been under lately. Nothing is working out the way it should. The school I wanted to open is meeting opposition. Adrienne and I had a HUGE fight and she's sulking somewhere. Even my muse seems to have abandoned me.
 
XENA
It's okay. We're here to help if we can. Where would you like to start?
 
SAPPHO
I suppose the beginning is as good a place as any.
 
CUT TO:
 
INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING
 
Sappho has noticeably relaxed, and is now being a very gracious hostess.  Xena and Gabrielle are enjoying a huge meal being served by a variety of servants.  Some of the staff are obviously thrown by the woman seated at the table who looks so much like their employer.  They are from time to time whispering among themselves about her.
 
SAPPHO
(sipping her wine)
And that's when the trouble started.
 
XENA
So someone is not happy about the fact that you want to open a school here?
 
SAPPHO
I'd say the death threats make that very clear.
(sighing)
All I wanted to do was create a place where people could come study and learn from each other. I wanted to help nurture the creative spirit. I didn't realize that people would be so set against it.
 
GABRIELLE
People are afraid of what they don't understand. And I think people tend to be more afraid of things that don't seem normal to them.
 
SAPPHO
There is some truth to that, but I've always had a good relationship with the people on this island. We trade with them regularly and they have come here to see performances. I just don't understand what has happened recently.
 
XENA
You think it's someone from the island?

SAPPHO
It's almost has to be. The threats started when I had a conference with some other  chancellors from various academies around Greece. I wanted to pick their collective brains about what to do to start a school. Three days after they got here the first threat came and then two days after that the chancellor from the Athens Academy was injured.  A scaffold
being used to build one of the walls collapsed as he was making a tour of the construction sight.
 
XENA
When did this happen?
 
SAPPHO
Not long ago. He's still using on of my guesthouses to recover. He's going to be fine, but it'll be some time before he's well enough to travel.
 
GABRIELLE
Has there been any other threats or attempts?
 
SAPPHO
I received another note yesterday, telling me to drop my plans for the school or else.
 
XENA
Or else? Well, that's about as open ended a threat as you can get.
 
GABRIELLE
So the first thing we need to do is figure out who is threatening you, and why they don't want this school built.
 
XENA
And who is Adrienne?
 
SAPPHO
Adrienne?

GABRIELLE
Yes, you mentioned that she was upset about something.  Maybe she's the one who....
 
SAPPHO
Oh no, not Adrienne. Our problems are of a far more 'personal' nature.
 
XENA
Ah, lovers spat. I understand.
 
GABRIELLE
Oh you do, do you?
 
XENA
Absolutely.  We know a lot of people who have problems in their relationships.
 
GABRIELLE
(smiling)
Nice save.
 
XENA
I thought so.
 
Sappho smiles at them, enjoying their banter. She sighs and shakes her head.
 
SAPPHO
Adrienne and I have lost that.
 
GABRIELLE
What?
 
SAPPHO
The ability to tease each other. There's been so much stress around here lately that all we
seem to do is argue. We had a horrible fight the other night and she stormed out of here in a huff. I haven't seen her since.
 
XENA
Have you looked for her?
 
SAPPHO
Oh, I know where she is. There's a small hut right on the edge of the estate. When she gets mad that's where she goes. She goes down there to work off her frustration by throwing pots.
 
GABRIELLE
Potter?
 
SAPPHO
No. Lousy temper. She really THROWS pots. It’s bitch on the bric-a-brac.
 
Gabrielle laughs and Xena wiggles a finger at her.
 
XENA
Don't say it.
 
Gabrielle winks, then returns her attention to Sappho.
 
GABRIELLE
Who do you think it is?
 
SAPPHO
I don't know. I wish I had a clue. I don't mind the thoughts of having an enemy. I just wish I knew who I was supposed to be watching out for.
 
XENA
Then the most logical place to start is in town. We'll go in and do some snooping around tomorrow....
 
Xena stops, and begins looking between Sappho and Gabrielle as an idea takes form; a smile begins to spread across her face. Gabrielle takes notice and sits up in her seat a little straighter.
 
GABRIELLE
Oh, I know that look. What are you thinking?
 
XENA
It just might be crazy enough to work.
 
SAPPHO
What?
 
Xena gets up and walks around the table. Standing at the corner between Sappho and Gabrielle, she looks closely at both of them.
 
XENA
I have to say that if I didn't know Gabrielle so well and had just met you both I wouldn't be able to tell you apart.
 
Gabrielle suddenly realizes what Xena is thinking and stands up.
 
GABRIELLE
Oh no. Nonononono.
 
XENA
Gabrielle....
 
GABRIELLE
What part of that didn't you understand?
 
XENA
It's perfect.
 
GABRIELLE
It's ridiculous.
 
SAPPHO
Okay, you two obviously have developed the ability to read each other’s minds. Now how
about letting me in on it?
 
Gabrielle is still looking at a grinning Xena, while answering Sappho’s question.
 
GABRIELLE
She is hatching some crazy plan where I pretend to be you in order to draw out the people trying to hurt you.
 
XENA
Gabrielle, it's not crazy.
 
GABRIELLE
You're right. It's not crazy. It's insane. Xena, no one with half a brain is going to believe I'm Sappho.
 
XENA
Sure they will, Gabrielle. You look exactly like. You're a bard; she's a poet....
 
SAPPHO
I hate to argue, but there's a huge difference Xena. Bards are far more epic....
 
XENA
It doesn't matter. It's not like she going to be performing for anyone. She's just going to be....
 
Xena pauses, trying to find the proper word.
 
GABRIELLE
Bait. I'm going to be bait.

XENA
Aw, c'mon Gabrielle.  It'll be fun.
 
GABRIELLE
Has it escaped you that there are differences between us?
 
XENA
Just little ones. Nothing a change of wardrobe can't cure. We can get you a wig....
 
GABRIELLE
Oh no!  NO wigs. I look awful in a wig.
 
Xena eyes swing slowly to Sappho.
 
XENA
Well, there is another option.
 
FADE OUT.
 
END OF ACT TWO

ACT THREE
 
FADE IN:
 
INT. BEDROOM - EVENING
 
Xena is pacing back and forth waiting, not so patiently for something. She looks to a closed door across the room and sighs, and then goes back to pacing. After another minute she goes to the door and knocks.
 
XENA
What are you two doing in there?
 
GABRIELLE
(v.o off camera)
(teasingly)
Wouldn't you like to know? Just be patient.
 
XENA
Oh yeah, that's one of my strong suits. C'mon!
 
The door opens.
 
GABRIELLE
Oh all right!
 
The two women step out of the dressing room. Xena's eyes widen when she looks at them dressed in identical outfits. Sappho's hair has been cut to match Gabrielle's and now it is nearly impossible to tell them apart.
 
Gabrielle and Sappho look at the shocked expression on Xena's face and without a word they both cross their arms at the same time and look at her with bemused smiles.
 
GABRIELLE/SAPPHO
Well?
 
XENA
Well what?
 
GABRIELLE
Who's who?
 
Xena walks slowly around them, looking them both over. She stops and slides her arms around Gabrielle from behind and whispers in her ear.
 
XENA
You're mine.
 
Gabrielle smiles and leans back into Xena.
 
GABRIELLE
Nice to know you can tell the difference.

XENA
After all these years, you doubted me?
 
Gabrielle gently caresses Xena's cheek.
 
GABRIELLE
Not for one second.
 
Sappho tugs on the sleeves of her gown and waits for Xena and Gabrielle to return to the present. She doesn't wait long.
 
SAPPHO
Okay, now what? Please don't tell me that I've sacrificed my hair for a plan that doesn't have an end?
 
XENA
Actually, I had you both put on the same thing just to see if it would be as perfect as I had hoped. Now that I know it is, I want you to put this on.
 
She hands Sappho an outfit that looks like Gabrielle's normal garb.
 
SAPPHO
And the reason for this is?
 
XENA
You and my lovely assistant are going to change places. You’re going to stay with me so I can protect you properly and Gabrielle will be here, having a look around for clues without drawing any suspicion.
 
GABRIELLE
You know, I hate to admit it, but this just might work.

XENA
(innocently)
I don't know how you could doubt it.
 
CUT TO:
 
INT. XENA/GABRIELLE'S BEDROOM - EVENING
 
Sappho is looking on as Xena throws a couple thick blankets on the floor near the fireplace.
 
SAPPHO
Are you sure Gabrielle is okay with this?
 
XENA
Absolutely. She knows we need to make it believable as possible. Besides, she trusts me. She knows that we are perfectly safe in here together.
 
Sappho pulls the blankets back on the bed and climbs under the covers as Xena makes herself comfortable on her makeshift bed by the fire.
 
SAPPHO
You two are very lucky to have that much trust between you.
 
XENA
After everything we've been through, we deserve it.
 
SAPPHO
I'm not sure Adrienne and I trust each other that much.

XENA
Have you ever given each other reasons not to have that trust?
 
SAPPHO
Adrienne had a little 'fling' a few years ago, but that was kind of my fault. I wasn't paying as much attention to her as I could have.
 
XENA
That's no excuse.  I will admit, we’ve made our mistakes, but if it was an excuse, Gabrielle could have had a thousand 'flings' when I wasn't being as attentive as I should. And I've had my share of chances when she was off on some little adventure. That's not what people who love each other do.
 
SAPPHO
But I love her. I love her with all my heart. She made a mistake and I forgave her for it and she hasn't done it since.
 
XENA
You know what?
 
SAPPHO
What?
 
XENA
You do love and trust each other if you could get past that.
 
SAPPHO
(chuckling)
Glad to hear it. Good night, Xena.
 
XENA
Good night.
 
FADE TO:

INT. BEDROOM - EVENING
 
Gabrielle is trying to get settled in Sappho's huge bed by herself, but is not having any luck. She's tossing and turning, punching pillows, throwing off the covers and then pulling them back up. It's perfectly clear this is not a woman who is accustomed to sleeping alone. 
 
She finally rolls over, hugging a pillow close to her and closes her eyes. She has her back to the window and doesn't move when a FIGURE climbs through the window.
 
Moving through the shadows, the figure moves to the bed and lifts the covers, climbing under and curling up next to Gabrielle. 
 
Her eyes snap open immediately, but she holds perfectly still. Then she realizes that the person in bed with her is NOT who she thought it was. She bolts out of the bed, stubbing her toe as she does. 
 
She proceeds to hop on one foot, rub her injured foot and curse like a Greek sailor. 
 
GABRIELLE
Son of a ...!
 
Adrienne jumps out of bed and stares, dumbfounded at the enraged woman hopping around.
 
ADRIENNE
What?
 
GABRIELLE
Who are....
(beat)
I mean, what are you doing here?
 
ADRIENNE
I live here.
 
GABRIELLE
But I thought you were mad.
 
Gabrielle stops hopping and limps over to a chair, sitting she rubs her foot without looking at it.
 
GABRIELLE 
(Cont’d)
I hope it at least has the decency to look mangled.
 
Adrienne crosses the room and kneels before Gabrielle.
 
ADRIENNE
Here.  Let me look at it.
 
Gabrielle realizes that Adrienne doesn't know she's not Sappho. She pulls her foot away from the inquisitive hands.
 
GABRIELLE
No, no.  It's okay.  I'll survive. I've had worse.
 
Adrienne chuckles and grabs Gabrielle's foot again.
 
ADRIENNE
When? If you chip a nail, you think the world is coming to an end.
 
Gabrielle pulls her foot away again and stands up, prepared to bolt or defend herself depending on what the quickly deteriorating situation calls for.
 
GABRIELLE
Really, I'm fine. Thanks, though. So what are you doing here? I thought you were off smashing more pottery.
 
Adrienne grins, and moves toward Gabrielle.
 
ADRIENNE
I ran out, so I figured it was time to come back here and make up. You know how we enjoy making up.
 
Gabrielle starts backing up, but never takes her eyes off of Adrienne.

GABRIELLE
I'm not ready to make up. I'm... I'm... I'm still mad at you!
 
Adrienne stops and puts a finger to her own chest.
 
ADRIENNE
Mad at me? Mad at me for wanting to protect you and take care of you? Gee, thanks a lot for your confidence.
 
Gabrielle knows she in WAY over her head. She holds up her hands to stop Adrienne's words.
 
GABRIELLE
Give me two minutes. I'll be right back.
 
She leaves Adrienne standing in the middle of the room and bolts out the door.
 
CUT TO:
 
EXT. HALL - NIGHT
 
Gabrielle skids to a stop in front of the door of the room that Xena and Sappho are sharing. She pushes on it and nearly falls into the room when it flies open.
 
CUT TO:
 
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
 
When Gabrielle regains her footing, she stands up to find herself at the end of Xena's sword.
 
GABRIELLE
Whoa! Friend!
 
Xena lowers her blade and quirks a brow at Gabrielle.
 
XENA
Problem?
 
GABRIELLE
Huge problem.
 
Sappho jumps from the bed where she has been watching, waiting to see what the problem is.
 
SAPPHO
Did someone try to hurt you?
 
GABRIELLE
No, someone tried to rub my feet.
 
XENA
Excuse me?
 
Gabrielle nods, then turns to Sappho.
 
GABRIELLE
Adrienne decided to come home and make up.
 
SAPPHO
Excuse me?
 
GABRIELLE
She's in your room right now wondering why you ran out of there like the Furies were on your tail.
 
SAPPHO
You didn't tell her?

GABRIELLE
No, I didn't tell her. No one is supposed to know.
 
SAPPHO
You could have told her.
 
XENA
No, Gabrielle was right not to say anything. Until we're sure, no one should know. No one is above suspicion.

SAPPHO
Xena, this is Adrienne we're talking about. She loves me. She would never hurt me.
 
As they are in the middle of the debate the door to the room opens. Adrienne enters, suddenly looking VERY confused as she sees the two 'Sapphos' before her.
 
ADRIENNE
What in the name of....
 
SAPPHO
I can explain.
 
ADRIENNE
I hope someone can. You tear out of our bedroom... like....
 
She stops, turning slowly to Gabrielle. 
 
ADRIENNE 
(Cont’d)
It was you in our room, wasn't it?
 
GABRIELLE
Yes, but there's a very good explanation. 
 
SAPPHO
Adrienne, this is Xena and Gabrielle....
 
ADRIENNE
(to Gabrielle)
What were you doing in our room?

GABRIELLE
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
 
She leans toward Xena and whispers.
 
GABRIELLE
(Cont’d)
I've always wanted to say that.
 
SAPPHO
They're here to help me. They're going to find out who wants to stop me from opening the school.
 
Adrienne turns to Sappho.  There is a hurt look clearly cut across her face.
 
ADRIENNE
This is the help you were talking about? The people you called here to protect you? You
don't trust me, do you?
 
Sappho moves to her lover and caresses her cheek.
 
SAPPHO
Of course I do, but I need you here with me, not running around maybe getting yourself hurt.
 
XENA
She's right. Leave getting hurt to the professionals.
(beat)
All right everyone; we need to get some sleep. You two stay here and lock the door.
 
Gabrielle and I will go back to your room. Adrienne, did anyone see you come in?
 
ADRIENNE
No.

XENA
Good. Make sure you lock that door. C'mon Gabrielle.
 
CUT TO:
 
INT. HALL - NIGHT
 
Xena and Gabrielle are walking down the hall toward Sappho's bedroom.
 
GABRIELLE
Do you get the feeling for people who are in love, they don't like each other very much?
 
XENA
I think they've just got problems. I would imagine the stress of this situation is laying pretty heavily on them.
 
GABRIELLE
Then we have to find the answers to who is trying to hurt Sappho. If they're really in love, they deserve the chance to fix what's wrong.  Taking off some of that pressure should help.
 
Xena puts her arm around Gabrielle's should and pulls her close, kissing the top of her head.
 
XENA
My hopeless romantic.
 
GABRIELLE
One of us has to do it.
 
FADE TO:
 
INT. OFFICE - DAY
 
Gabrielle is seated at Sappho's desk, reading from a stack of parchments. She is smiling as she reads the beautiful words.

The door to the office opens; Xena, Adrienne and Sappho enter. Gabrielle stands up and approaches Sappho with one of the parchments.
 
GABRIELLE
This is beautiful.
 
Sappho looks shyly at Adrienne and back to Gabrielle. 
 
SAPPHO
Thank you. I wrote it the other night. I was having trouble sleeping.
 
GABRIELLE
I must admit Aphrodite would be thrilled. I don't think anyone has ever referred to her as a 'wile-weaver' before.
 
XENA
She has been called lots of other things.
 
Gabrielle chuckles and gives the parchment to Sappho. Then she leans over and whispers.
 
GABRIELLE
You should do a private reading of that.
 
SAPPHO
Maybe I will.
 
Xena claps her hands together to get everyone's attention.
 
XENA
Okay, here's the plan for the day. Adrienne, you and Gabrielle will stay here and see what you can find out. Sappho and I are going into town and see what we can dig up there.
 
ADRIENNE
I don't think Sappho should leave the grounds.

Xena leads Gabrielle over, next to Adrienne.
 
XENA
She's not. She's staying right here.
 
ADRIENNE
Well sometimes a wall has to fall on me, but I get it now.
 
XENA
Good. And since you know the people here, you are the most logical choice to help Gabrielle with her end of the investigation.
 
Adrienne nods, giving Xena look of appreciation.
 
ADRIENNE
Thanks.
 
XENA
No problem.
 
FADE OUT.
 
END ACT THREE

ACT FOUR
 
FADE IN:
 
EXT. TOWN - DAY
 
Xena and Sappho are walking through the town. Sappho is dressed in Gabrielle's gear, right down to the sais in her boots.
 
SAPPHO
I don't know how Gabrielle can dress like this all the time. It's chilly and the sais are heavy.
 
XENA
It’s less restrictive in a fight. Being able to move is very important.
 
SAPPHO
I imagine it would be. Do you two do that often?
 
XENA
Too often. But it's what we do. I'm not sure we'd know how to behave under other circumstances.
 
Sappho points to a well dressed man, standing near a vegetable cart, obviously doing business with the merchant.
 
SAPPHO
That's Danos. He's the island magistrate.
 
XENA
Have you two had problems?
 
SAPPHO
Not really, but he didn't seem thrilled when I mentioned the school to him.
 
XENA
Then he's as good a place to start as any.
 
CUT TO:
 
EXT. GARDEN - DAY
 
Gabrielle and Adrienne are walking through the immense gardens of the estate. Adrienne seems to be looking at everything but Gabrielle as they talk.
 
GABRIELLE
So, who do you think could be behind this?
 
ADRIENNE
I have no idea. I asked her to let me look into it, but she said she had sent for help. I guess
you and Xena were the help.
 
GABRIELLE
She hurt your feelings, didn't she?
 
ADRIENNE
That's not important. What's important is you find out who wants to hurt her.
 
GABRIELLE
That we find out. Xena told you to help me, remember?
 
ADRIENNE
And you're really going to let me help you?
 
GABRIELLE
Absolutely. You can help me from making any big mistakes while I'm impersonating Sappho.
 
ADRIENNE
Umm then you need to be more.... more....
 
GABRIELLE
More what?
 
ADRIENNE
Girly.
 
GABRIELLE
Excuse me?
 
ADRIENNE
Well, Sappho is the epitome of woman. Very feminine.
 
GABRIELLE
And I'm not?
 
ADRIENNE
Sure you are.  It's just a different style. You have confidence in the way you walk, like if anyone messes with you, you can kick their butts. Sappho couldn't hurt a fly. You need to....
 
GABRIELLE
Femme it up?
 
ADRIENNE
Just a little.
 
GABRIELLE
I can do that.

She takes a few steps ahead of Adrienne, walking with a sway to her hips that is about to give Adrienne whiplash.
 
ADRIENNE
That's it! You've got it.
 
CUT TO:
 
EXT. TOWN - DAY
 
DANUS stands staring at Sappho pretending to be Gabrielle, shaking his head.
 
DANUS
I can't believe it. You look just like Sappho.
 
XENA
Amazing isn't it?
 
DANUS
Very.
 
He takes his eyes away from Sappho and looks to Xena
 
DANUS 
(Cont’d)
So, what can I do for you?
 
XENA
I'm hoping you can give us some information. Gabrielle and I are here because Sappho said someone is trying to kill her.

DANUS
Kill her? Who would want to kill her?
 
XENA
That's what we're trying to find out. We hoped you might have some answers.
 
SAPPHO
She thinks someone wants to keep her from starting her school.
 
DANUS
Oh that. Well, I must say that there are members of the island who would rather not see that happen simply because it would bring to many outsiders to the island, but to kill Sappho over it. I don't think so.
 
Xena chews on the inside of her lip for a moment, giving his words serious consideration. 
 
XENA
So you don't know of anyone who would take such drastic measures?
 
DANUS
No. I wish I could help you more.
 
XENA
You've been more help than you can know. Gabrielle and I are going to keep looking around. I hope you don't mind.
 
DANUS
No, of course not.
 
XENA
Come on, Gabrielle.
 
They walk away but not too far. Xena stops near a wall and guides Sappho back against it as well so they are out of sight.
 
SAPPHO
What?
 
XENA
Just wait.
 
Xena watches as Danus makes a beeline to the back of the market and disappears.
 
XENA 
(Cont’d)
I thought as much. He knows more that he's telling us.
 
CUT TO:
 
INT. GUESTHOUSE - DAY
 
Gabrielle and Adrienne are sitting at a table waiting for Chancellor Aubin. Gabrielle is picking at the wood grain on the table; Adrienne reaches over and takes her hand, shaking her head no.
 
GABRIELLE
Sorry.
 
ADRIENNE
It's okay.
 
GABRIELLE
What's taking him so long?
 
ADRIENNE
Chancellor Aubin is at best.... trying on the nerves.
 
GABRIELLE
Wonderful.
 
The door opens and Aubin enters.  He is walking with a cane and his right foot sports a large white bandage.
AUBIN
To what do I owe this wonderful surprise?
 
ADRIENNE
We wanted to see how you were recovering, Chancellor.
 
Aubin takes a seat, eyeing Gabrielle curiously.
 
AUBIN
Oh I'm fine, getting better each day.
(to Gabrielle)
My dear, are you feeling all right? You don't seem quite yourself?
 
GABRIELLE
Oh I'm fine.  Just a lot on my mind, you know.
 
AUBIN
Have you had any other problems?
 
GABRIELLE
No. Not recently.
 
ADRIENNE
We have also brought in some help. Friends who are going to get to the bottom of this.
 
AUBIN
And these friends would be?
 
GABRIELLE
Xena, the Warrior Princess and her partner, Gabrielle.
 
AUBIN
Gabrielle and Xena? Not possible, they'd have to be in their fifties by now.
 
ADRIENNE
They look great. As a matter of fact there is an astonishing resemblance between Sappho and Gabrielle. They could be twins.
 
Aubin eyes ‘Sappho’ with some suspicion.

AUBIN
Is that why you cut your beautiful hair my dear?
 
Gabrielle runs her hand through her hair and smiles.
 
GABRIELLE
Well, it was just time for a change. I saw Gabrielle’s hair and decided I liked it, and thought I would give it a try. I can always let it grow out again.
 
AUBIN
Very true. So you called them here to help you find out who is behind the problems that you’ve had?
 
GABRIELLE
That’s the plan.
 
AUBIN
How long have you known them?
 
Gabrielle definitely gets the feeling that Aubin is trying to turn the tables here and she’s not about to let that happen.
 
GABRIELLE
This is the first time I’ve ever met them, but I did a poem for Xena once. So she could give it as a gift to Gabrielle. I figured she owed me a favor and she is supposed to be the best person for this sort of job.
 
AUBIN
Or if you need a small village slaughtered in under two hours.
 
Gabrielle takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly so Aubin doesn’t get the response he wants. Adrienne can see Gabrielle is getting mad, so she reaches out and gives her hand a squeeze. 
 
ADRIENNE
Well, Chancellor, we won’t keep you any longer. We just wanted to see how you were feeling. If you need anything to assist in your recovery, please don’t hesitate to ask.
 
AUBIN
Thank you.
(beat)
Both.
 
CUT TO:
 
EXT. GARDEN – DAY
 
Gabrielle is furious, madder than one human being has a right to be. Adrienne is watching her as she tries not to blow and start beating the first thing she comes into contact with.
 
GABRIELLE
Of all the....
 
ADRIENNE
Gabrielle....
 
GABRIELLE
That son of a....
 
ADRIENNE
Gabrielle....
 
Gabrielle proceeds to hit a small statue, knocking its head right off its shoulders. Adrienne’s brow arches. She moves forward slowly, waiting to see if Gabrielle is going to go off again. Gabrielle is now holding her throbbing hand and grimacing.
 
GABRIELLE
Damn it! Xena always tells me not to hit anything harder than her head.
 
ADRIENNE
Here... let me look at it.
 
Adrienne takes Gabrielle’s hand and slowly checks it for broken bones. Gabrielle watches and smiles.
 
GABRIELLE
You’re a natural nurturer aren’t you?
 
ADRIENNE
I try, but it’s not always well received. If something goes wrong for Sappho, she likes to have an artistic hissy fit and pout. She won’t let me try to make it better.
 
Adrienne pats Gabrielle’s hand.
 
ADRIENNE
(Cont’d)
It’s not broken, but it may bruise up. That’s quite a temper you have there.
 
GABRIELLE
Would you believe me if I told you there’s only one thing I go that crackers over?
 
ADRIENNE
Sure. And I’ll bet it’s the only thing in the world that can drive me that crazy too.
 
Gabrielle smiles and nods.
 
GABRIELLE
I just get so mad when people say that kind of stuff about Xena.
 
ADRIENNE
Now you know why I keep my little shed. I have to go someplace to work off my frustration. Why is it the ones we love most are always the ones who can make us feel that way?
 
GABRIELLE
Oh, that’s easy. They’re the only ones who make us feel the need to be that passionate.
(beat)
How long have you and Sappho been together?
 
ADRIENNE
Mmm ten years. How about you and Xena?
 
GABRIELLE
Does the twenty-five years we spent encased in ice count?
 
Adrienne laughs and pitches a rock across a pond, causing it to skip several times.
 
ADRIENNE
Could you talk, fight and make love?
 
GABRIELLE
No, we were just pretty much frozen in ice.
 
ADRIENNE
Then no.  It doesn’t count.
 
GABRIELLE
About seven years, almost eight then.
 
ADRIENNE
Long enough to know each other’s faults.
 
GABRIELLE
Oh yeah, definitely long enough for that. And long enough to truly love each other in spite of them.
 
Adrienne continues to follow Gabrielle as they walk the path back to the house, only now she is wearing a very thoughtful look as she watches Gabrielle walk ahead of her.
 
DISSOLVE TO:
 
EXT. WORKSITE - EVENING
 
Xena is poking around to now deserted worksite. She is looking at the one completed wall and then begins examining the partially completed wall and the debris of the scaffold that collapsed.
 
Gabrielle enters though a grove of trees and smiles as she sees Xena bend over and pick up a board.
 
GABRIELLE
What do we know?
 
XENA
Come here.
 
Gabrielle joins her partner in the construction site. Xena hands her the board.
 
XENA
(Cont’d)
Have a look at that.
 
GABRIELLE
It’s been partially cut through.
 
XENA
Yup. I was actually hoping that this might have been an accident.
 
Gabrielle tosses down the board.
 
GABRIELLE
No such luck.  Lemme tell ya, it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.
 
XENA
You don’t like Chancellor Aubin?
 
GABRIELLE
I couldn’t like him if he were the last man on the planet. He did his best to try and trip me up today. 
 
XENA
Really? You think he’s on to us?

GABRIELLE
I think he thinks he is.
 
XENA
Interesting.
 
GABRIELLE
What did you and Sappho find out in town today?
 
XENA
Not much, to be honest. The magistrate is a squirrelly little fellow with more to tell than he’s saying.
 
GABRIELLE
Sounds like we have two suspects.
 
XENA
Yes, it does.
 
GABRIELLE
Maybe they’re working with each other. Seems they both have a lot to lose if this school opens. Chancellor Aubin risks losing all his students.  I can see why that would make him nervous.
 
XENA
The island doesn’t have anything to lose. I just don’t think that they really want more people coming here. Where’s Sappho?
 
GABRIELLE
Up at the house with Adrienne.
 
XENA
And Adrienne... do you think she’s in the clear on this?
 
GABRIELLE
Oh yeah. She adores that woman.

XENA
They’ve had some problems.
 
GABRIELLE
That doesn’t prove anything. We’ve had problems and I still love you. Adrienne didn’t mention anything.
 
XENA
I’m sure she didn’t. She was the cause of the problems. Seems that a few years ago she had a little... affair.
 
GABRIELLE
Xena, that doesn’t mean anything. Trust me, Adrienne loves Sappho. And apparently they’ve gotten over it.
 
XENA
True.
 
Gabrielle moves to her partner and wraps her arms around Xena’s waist, laying her head on her shoulder as they both watch the sunset over the ocean.
 
GABRIELLE
Now this is nice.
 
XENA
Absolutely.
 
FADE TO:

INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING
 
Xena and Gabrielle enter the room to find Adrienne hand feeding Sappho an olive and then giving her a passionate kiss.
 
Gabrielle whispers to Xena.
 
GABRIELLE
Maybe we should come back later.
 
Xena nods and they are about to leave when Sappho laughs, pulls back from Adrienne and waves them in.
 
SAPPHO
Don’t be silly. Come in.
(to Adrienne)
You be good.
 
They both sport huge grins that are not in any danger of fading as Adrienne takes a seat next to Sappho, holding her hand, gently caressing the back of it.
 
Xena and Gabrielle join them at the table and fix plates for themselves. Apparently the grins that Adrienne and her partner are wearing are contagious and they’ve spread around the table.
 
SAPPHO
(Cont’d)
What?
 
XENA
Nothing.
 
Gabrielle looks to Xena and notices that she is wearing an incredibly rare shade of red. She leans over and whispers.
 
GABRIELLE
You okay?
 
XENA
I’m great.
 
GABRIELLE
What’s wrong?

XENA
I’ll tell ya later.
 
After managing to restore some sense of composure. Xena takes a deep breath and starts the important part of the dinner conversation.
 
XENA
(Cont’d)
Well, after today I think we have two very strong suspects. Unfortunately, we have absolutely nothing to link them to the attempts other than the fact that they both have unusual temperaments. I’ve been around long enough to know that being flaky doesn’t’ make you a killer.
 
ADRIENNE
Maybe the intention isn’t to kill Sappho. Maybe it’s just to scare her off of opening the school.
 
Xena and Gabrielle exchange glances and then quickly turn back to the table.
 
GABRIELLE
That’s as good a theory as any. I mean you’ve received threats, but other than Chancellor Aubin being hurt, there really hasn’t been any attempts have there?
 
SAPPHO
No.
 
CUT TO:
 
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
 
Xena is settling down in bed as Gabrielle changes. Xena is busy fluffing pillows while Gabrielle taps her fingers on the top of the dressing table she’s seated at.
 
GABRIELLE
I think I made a mistake.

XENA
What kind of mistake?
 
Gabrielle turns around and sighs.
 
GABRIELLE
I’m not so sure anymore.
 
XENA
You think Adrienne may now be involved?
 
GABRIELLE
I don’t want to.
 
She walks across the room and climbs into bed.
 
GABRIELLE
(Cont’d)
I really don’t want to. But that comment at dinner tonight and the fact that we know they’ve had problems....
 
XENA
Problems that resulted in them not having enough time for each other as it was.
 
GABRIELLE
Right. Oh Xena, I hope we’re wrong. I hope someone is trying to kill her.
 
XENA
Gabrielle!
 
GABRIELLE
Okay, that didn’t come out right, but you know what I meant.
 
XENA
Yeah, I know what you meant. Sappho told me that Adrienne’s little fling took place during a point in her life when they didn’t have enough time for each other. I’m sure Adrienne was concerned about how the school would take Sappho away from her.

GABRIELLE
Let’s just take this a step at a time before we rush to judgment.
 
XENA
Sounds about right.
 
Gabrielle settles into bed, with her back to Xena so they are spooned together. Xena hums happily and wraps her arm securely around Gabrielle’s waist.
 
XENA
(Cont’d)
Nice.
 
GABRIELLE
Very. So you gonna tell me why you had that silly look on your face at dinner tonight?
 
XENA
No.
 
GABRIELLE
No? Come on. You said you’d tell me later.
 
XENA
It’s stupid.
 
GABRIELLE
Oh, now I know I want to hear it. You just don’t do stupid.
 
Xena sighs and nuzzles closer to Gabrielle. 
 
XENA
Are you sure I can’t interest you in something else?
 
GABRIELLE
Maybe. After you tell me.
 
XENA
Tonight when we walked in there and I saw Adrienne kissing Sappho, I felt jealous. I mean, she looks just like you and for just a second, I could see what it would look like to find you in the arms of someone else.  I didn’t like it much.
 
Gabrielle rolls over and smiles.
 
GABRIELLE
That’s so sweet.
 
XENA
Actually I thought it was kind of silly. I mean, you were standing right there with me. I knew it, but still there was just this brief stabbing feeling in my chest.
 
Gabrielle snuggles in closer and kisses Xena’s throat.
 
GABRIELLE
Thank you. That makes me feel good.
 
XENA
Bet I can make you feel even better.
 
FADE TO:
 
EXT. WORKSITE - MORNING
 
Xena, Gabrielle, Sappho and Adrienne are all out at the worksite. They all appear to be going over the ground very carefully, looking for anything out of the ordinary. Xena picks up that board she had found the night before and waves Adrienne over.
 
ADRIENNE
Did you find something?
 
Xena hands her the board.
 
XENA
I dunno. You tell me.
 
Adrienne looks at the board then to Xena.
 
ADRIENNE 
It’s been cut.
 
XENA
Yeah, you know anything about it?
 
ADRIENNE
Now just a minute, you can’t possibly think I....
 
Before Adrienne can finish her sentence, Xena’s attention is drawn away to where Gabrielle and Sappho are sifting through some old bricks. Xena takes off at a full run, yelling as she does.
 
XENA
Gabrielle! Take cover!
 
Gabrielle doesn’t hesitate.  She grabs Sappho and wraps her up in her arms to move her to safety, running and pushing the woman toward the wall. Xena continues her charge toward the grove of trees, knowing that’s where the danger is. She changes directions quickly as an arrow flies through the air and embeds itself into the ground. Resuming her run, she skids to a halt when she sees Gabrielle and Sappho near the wall. With adrenaline clouding her vision it’s hard for her to tell which one of them is bleeding, but it’s clear one of them is. The arrow piercing the back is the source of the blood. Xena looks up in time to see the edge of a dark cloak disappear over the wall of the estate. Torn between following and checking on Gabrielle and Sappho, she decides to stay behind.
 
Dashing over, she realizes it’s Gabrielle who has taken the arrow in the back. Taking Gabrielle from Sappho, Xena slowly lowers her to the ground. Gabrielle opens her eyes and smiles when she feels Xena’s arms go around her.
 
GABRIELLE
Ouch.
 
Xena grins at Gabrielle’s word, but they both know that the wound is worse than either is willing to admit.
 
XENA
You’re gonna be okay.

Gabrielle just nods as her eyes slip shut.
 
FADE OUT.
 
END ACT FOUR

TO BE CONTINUED....
 
DISCLAIMER
Sappho wasn't harmed during the making of this motion picture, unfortunately not everyone faired so well.