Episode Guide Teaser Act 1 Act 2 Act 3 Act 4


ACT ONE

 

FADE IN:

 

EXT. VILLAGE INN - SHORT TIME LATER

 

The girl stands surrounded by villagers, and flanked by older men and older women. The girl is scruffed up; the crowd has not been kind to her.

 

The old woman shakes a broom at her.

 

OLD WOMAN

I told you to leave it be!  You're

nothing but a foolish chit!

 

GIRL

It wasn't my fault!  I was trying

to help!  Why can't you

understand that?!

 

 

YOUNG MAN

Help? You tried to kill me!!

 

Xena and Gabrielle push forward through the crowd.

 

OLD WOMAN

You said yourself

you pushed ‘em!

 

The girl breaks free from the older people who had been holding her arms.

 

GIRL

Not on PURPOSE!!!

 

OLD WOMAN

Shut up, girl!

 

Gabrielle pushes past two men.

 

GABRIELLE

Okay, just hang on a minute.

 

Xena follows Gabrielle into the open space.

 

OLD WOMAN

There's the ones what saved

him.... You tell it, girls!

 

Both Xena and Gabrielle stop in mid step and look at the old woman with identical glares.

 

OLD WOMAN

(cont’d)

What?

 

Gabrielle turns to the crowd.

 

GABRIELLE

Does anyone here really

know what happened?

 

 

The crowd looks at each other, then at Gabrielle. They all shake their heads no.

 

GABRIELLE

(cont’d, to boy)

What about you?

 

The boy scratches his head.

 

BOY

Well, I was leaning over the well,

and something hit me from

behind and knocked me in.

 

He points at the girl.

 

BOY

(cont’d)

Next thing I know *SHE* starts

trying to kill me with a stick!

 

GIRL

I was not! I was trying to save

you, you ungrateful pig!

 

OLD WOMAN

I saw you hitting him!

 

The crowd starts to mutter. Sticks are raised. Stones are readied.

 

OLD WOMAN

(cont’d)

I say, stone 'er! Always

causing trouble she is!

 

CROWD

Yeah!

 

Gabrielle steps in front of them. Xena slowly removes the chakram from her hip and holds it in front of her, checking angles.

 

GABRIELLE

Hold on, hold on.... She wasn't

really hitting him, sh....

 

GIRL

See! See! I told you!

 

The crowd stops and looks at Gabrielle.

 

OLD WOMAN

She wasn't?

 

GABRIELLE

Well no, not exactly. She....

 

The crowd breaks up, shaking their heads as they walk off.

 

Gabrielle’s voice trails off.

 

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

... was sort of just poking

him in the head.

 

 

Xena sighs, and puts the chakram away, giving her fingers a snap. The girl is left standing there, facing Xena and Gabrielle.

 

GIRL

Wow. Thanks.

 

Gabrielle puts her hands on her hips.

 

GABRIELLE

What's your name?

 

GIRL

Selsha.

 

GABRIELLE

You should be more careful.

 

XENA

Yeah. And don't

walk with full buckets.

 

She points at Gabriele.

 

SELSHA

But she told me to bring it.

 

She looks at Xena.

 

SELSHA

(cont’d)

You're Xena, huh? Wow! This is

amazing. I've been hearing

stories about you all my life.

 

XENA

(deadpan)

Don't believe them.

 

 

SELSHA

(confidently)

I have to!  I'm going

to be just like you.

 

Gabrielle leans back against the fence, clearly enjoying Xena's reaction.

 

XENA

What?

 

SELSHA

(eagerly)

I am! I’m going to be a hero!

Now that you're here, you

can tell me how to do it!

 

Xena takes a step back. Gabrielle fights hard not to start laughing.  Selsha follows Xena.

 

XENA

Wait a minute.

 

SELSHA

What's that round thing?  Is that

the chakram? Can I see it?

Can I touch it? Oh wow....

 

Selsha reaches for the chakram. Xena hops out of the way.

 

XENA

Hey! Cut that out! You're

gonna hurt yourself!

 

Selsha ignores the warning and keeps going, but collides with a barrel and falls over it, knocking the barrel over and sending it rolling towards Gabrielle, who jumps over it at the last moment. Selsha lands on her butt on the ground.

 

SELSHA

See? I could have knocked

down a bad guy like that,

huh? I’m a natural!

 

Xena looks at Gabrielle, who finds a fascinating leaf to examine somewhere.

 

SELSHA

(cont’d)

Aren't I?

 

Xena shakes her head and walks off, grabbing Gabrielle as she goes by and taking her along too.

 

SELSHA

(cont’d)

I am! I'll prove it to you!!!!

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. VILLAGE INN - DUSK

 

Xena and Gabrielle are sitting at a table near the back, mugs in front of them, and a couple of cleared plates pushed aside nearby.

 

Gabrielle picks up her mug and drinks from it. She chuckles.

 

XENA

That wasn't funny.

 

GABRIELLE

C'mon, Xena. You know it was.

 

 

The door to the inn opens and Selsha walks in, looking around obviously searching for them. She spots them and brightens, heading their way.

 

XENA

Oh, great.

 

GABRIELLE

(drolly)

Want me to put my plate

in front of your face?

 

A woman comes out from the back and spots Selsha.

 

WOMAN

(yelling)

Selsha! Get in here! It's

about time you got home!

 

Selsha looks crestfallen, but obeys, going to the door and disappearing.

 

GABRIELLE

(laughing)

Oooooh... and she's an

innkeeper's daughter, too.

 

She pats Xena’s hand.

 

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Just like you.

 

Xena covers her eyes with one hand.

 

XENA

Can we go find some other

backwater town to terrorize?

 

GABRIELLE

(chuckling)

Aw, Xena, it's cute.

 

XENA

(miffed)

It's not cute. Little klutzy girls who

think they can be heroes generally

end up very dead, Gabrielle.

 

Gabrielle leans forward and rests her hands on the table.

 

GABRIELLE

(whispering)

I didn't.

 

 

Xena's eyes narrow. She puts one finger on Gabrielle's nose.

 

XENA

You had a special something.

 

GABRIELLE

Uh huh. You.

 

Xena drums her fingers on the table.

 

GABRIELLE

(cont’d, kindly)

Give it up. Even after all this time,

you can't win an argument with me.

 

XENA

(drolly)

You done arguing?

 

She points at the door.

 

XENA

(cont’d)

I don't want to be out

here if she comes back.

 

Gabrielle gets up, and Xena joins her. The door to the kitchen opens and Selsha appears, but as she is about to head for them, the front door opens and a man enters.

 

MAN

Help! Help!

Our wagon overturned,

and my wife is trapped!

 

SELSHA

Oh!  Oh!  I'll save her!

 

 

Selsha rushes out past the man, bumping him against the wall and knocking a plate down that falls on his head and shatters into pieces.

 

MAN

Ow!!!

 

Xena and Gabrielle look at each other, then turn and run after her.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. VILLAGE ROAD - EVENING

 

The road out of the village is lined with torches. On the lane leading to the inn, a large wagon sits on its side with two horses tangled in the traces. Boxes and bales of supplies are spilled everywhere.

 

Selsha rushes over and stops, unsure of what to do. She spots the merchant's wife under one corner.

 

SELSHA

Oh!  There you are!

 

Selsha runs over to the woman, kicking one of the smaller boxes accidentally and smacking it into the woman's head.

 

WIFE

Help! Ouch! Ahh!!!

 

SELSHA

Sorry! Sorry. Grab my

hand! I'll pull you out!

 

Selsha takes the woman's arm and starts pulling her with all her strength.

 

WIFE

No! Ahh!! Stop!!!  No!

 

Selsha keeps pulling.

 

SELSHA

Don't worry! I'll save you!

I promise!

 

Xena and Gabrielle round the corner and see the scene. Xena removes the chakram from her hip and lets it fly. It bounces off a tree, then a fence, then the cart, then turns sideways and whacks Selsha on the side of the head.

 

Selsha releases the woman and stumbles to one side.

 

Xena catches the chakram and puts it on her hip as she reaches the horses. She grabs the reins and yells, pulling the horses up.

 

Gabrielle grabs one of the poles off the gate and rushes to the wagon. She sticks the end of the pole under it as Xena shifts the horses.

 

XENA

Yeah!

 

GABRIELLE

Got it!

 

 

Xena has the horses shift the wagon again, and Gabrielle pushes the pole in further.  It lifts the wagon off the woman.

 

SELSHA

I'll get her! I'll get her!

 

Selsha rushes forward just as Gabrielle does, and they collide, sending them both sprawling into the dirt.

 

Gabrielle rolls to one side and gets up onto her knees, grabbing the woman by her tunic and sliding her out from under the wagon.

 

GABRIELLE

Okay!

 

Xena cuts the traces and frees the horses from the wagon.  Selsha gets up and runs over to her, carrying a piece of wood.

 

SELSHA

Oh! Can I help?

 

Selsha runs right into the rump of one horse, sticking it with the piece of wood as her feet get tangled in the traces Xena has just cut.

 

XENA

Look ou....

 

The horse bolts, dragging Selsha behind her.

 

SELSHA

Ahhhh!!!!!

 

Xena looks at Gabrielle. Gabrielle waves her on as she goes to check on the woman.

 

XENA

We're leaving! Tonight!

 

 

Xena turns and runs after the horses. After she disappears, there is the sound of a huge crash.

 

Then there is the sound of a lot of angry poultry.

 

Gabrielle winces.

 

FADE OUT.

 

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO