ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. CITY OF ITHACA - MARKET - MORNING

Xena and Gabrielle stroll through the marketplace.

GABRIELLE

You don't think we should go find
Ulysses and see if we can help, Xena?

XENA

Help what? It's already a done deal, Gabrielle.
Besides, it's not the first time rulers have
used their kids to make alliances.

GABRIELLE

I know, but....

XENA

No buts. We'll go to the ceremony,
congratulate them, and that's it.

Gabrielle stops and picks up a colorful blanket. She examines it in silence. Xena watches her.

XENA

(Cont’d)

Besides, maybe she likes the prince.
He's not bad looking.

Gabrielle pays for the blanket, and slings it over her shoulder. She rejoins Xena.

GABRIELLE

Every kid likes to dream about being
a princess. If they only knew it's not
all it's cracked up to be, huh?

XENA

Hmm. Yeah.

Xena stops and picks up a wicked looking hatchet. She examines it, while Gabrielle watches her.

GABRIELLE

Maybe they will be happy together.
You never know.

Xena flicks the hatchet into a nearby piece of wood. It sticks. Xena pays for the hatchet and takes it with her. Gabrielle puts her arm around Xena as they walk.

GABRIELLE

(Cont’d)

I'm glad I was able to give my heart
to someone for no other reason
than that I loved them, though.

Xena smiles.

XENA

Me, too.

They turn a corner, and spot a large, fancifully ornate building right at the corner of the market. The walls are colored a surprising shade of pink.

GABRIELLE

What is that?

XENA

Beats me. Let's go find out.

Xena and Gabrielle approach the building. On the front door is a sign.

GABRIELLE

"The Celestial Abode of the Artist."
Sounds different.

Xena pushes the door open and they walk inside.

CUT TO:

INT. ARTISTS' STUDIO - DAY

Xena and Gabrielle enter the room and close the door. Inside, the building is even more eccentric. The walls have been painted with all sorts of designs, and there are statues stuck in odd corners.  A woman spots them and rushes over. This is the ARTIST LOOCHA - she is medium height, with chestnut brown hair and is dressed in flowing, albeit paint cover robes.

LOOCHA

Hello!  Hello!  My!
What has the morning brought me?

The artist circles them like a hummingbird, darting in and out and examining both of them closely.

GABRIELLE

Um... hi. Could you, um....

The artist grabs Xena and pulls her over to the window that lets in a good amount of light.

LOOCHA

You! You! Ah! This is wonderful!
Magnificent! Perfect!

Xena looks like she's been attacked by a talking cat. The artist starts to reach up and touch her hair and Xena clamps her hands down on both wrists and holds the woman still. The rest of her body continues to move, however.

XENA

Hey!

Gabrielle walks over to watch. The artist realizes she's not going anywhere and stops.

LOOCHA

Ah, your pardon!
I just got so excited.
Forgive me.

Xena cautiously releases the artist.

XENA

Who are you?

LOOCHA

You must let me paint you.
You must. You simply must.
You are perfect.

XENA

What?

LOOCHA

You are perfect. Your face, your body -
you are simply perfect.  And those eyes!
Magnificent.  You must let me paint you.
You must.

Xena looks at Gabrielle. Gabrielle seems amused.

LOOCHA

(Cont’d)

(to Gabrielle)

I'm sure you agree, don't you?

Gabrielle ponders the question.

GABRIELLE

Mm... She's got her good points,
but I don't think we have time....

Xena's eyebrows go up.

LOOCHA

But you must! Really!

XENA

Good points, eh?
Hey, how long with this take?

The artist is thrilled. She hops up and down and claps her hands.

LOOCHA

Just a day! From dawn to dusk, you must sit
for me without moving! I will capture perfection!

Xena starts to leave.

XENA

Ah....

GABRIELLE

A whole day? I don't think Xena could
sit still for a whole minute. Sorry! Bye!

LOOCHA

Wait! Wait! You must stay! Wait!
I could give you some scrolls to
read while you were posing! Wait!

Xena and Gabrielle make their escape, with the artist chasing after them.

CUT TO:

EXT. ITHACA MARKETPLACE - DAY

Xena and Gabrielle duck past some wagons and try to find a route through the packed market stalls.

XENA

Good points?

GABRIELLE

Honey, I'll swoon over your perfection later, okay?
Let's just get out of her clutches first.

Xena lifts the edge of a tent flap and they duck under it. They run between two fabric stalls and almost get tangled in them, then emerge into a main crossroad and stop dead.

Coming right at them is a large party of mounted horsemen, complete with guards. On the lead horse is Ulysses. He spots them and his eyes fall on Xena.  He has, of course, aged almost thirty years since the last time they saw him, and is now a reasonably distinguished looking older man with almost silver white hair and a neatly trimmed beard.

He pulls his horse to a halt and stares, his jaw dropping.

GABRIELLE

(Cont’d)

Looks like he remembers you.

XENA

Yeah. Wonder if he'll recognize you.

GABRIELLE

Bet he doesn't.

ULYSSES

Xena?

Behind them, the artist catches up, then spots the royal party and halts. She snaps her fingers, then backs up and disappears back into the crowd.

Xena and Gabrielle walk over to Ulysses' horse. The rest of the riding party clusters around curiously.

XENA

Hello, Ulysses. Been a long time.

ULYSSES

A lot longer for me than for you,
it looks like! By the gods!

Ulysses finally looks at Gabrielle.

ULYSSES

(Cont’d)

Gabrielle! At least you got a haircut!

Surprised, Gabrielle laughs.

GABRIELLE

Among other things.
How are you, Ulysses?
We heard about the wedding,
and thought we'd stop by.

Ulysses seems overwhelmed.

ULYSSES

I don't know what to say.
But I’m glad you're here!
Come on, we're going up to the castle.
Now there's really reason to celebrate!

Xena and Gabrielle join the party, and they move off.

CUT TO:

INT. ULYSSES’ THRONE ROOM - DAY

Ulysses sits with Xena and Gabrielle at a large table. They are all drinking wine.

ULYSSES

I just can't believe it. How can you both
be sitting here, as though nothing changed?

Xena and Gabrielle exchange looks. Xena takes out a coin and flips it.

GABRIELLE

Heads.

Xena shows her the coin. Gabrielle sighs.

XENA

It's your turn anyway.
I explained the last time.

Ulysses just watches them, obviously amazed at their appearance. He keeps staring at Xena.

ULYSSES

I only wish Penelope were here to see this.
We talked about you all the time.

GABRIELLE

What happened?

ULYSSES

A plague, years back. The healers tried
everything, but she was too weak.

XENA

I'm sorry.

Ulysses nods.

ULYSSES

It's the way of life.
Except in your case, it seems!

GABRIELLE

Xena and I... got trapped someplace where
time had no meaning. It's not magic.

ULYSSES

Ah. Well, I’m glad no matter the reason
that you decided to come here.
It's been a tough year for us.

XENA

I saw the damage. War?

Ulysses nods. He gets up from his chair and paces. He is uncomfortable.

ULYSSES

Many say I bought my way out of it.
Maybe I did, but it was that or risk fighting
until nothing was left of either of our islands.

Xena gets up and walks around as well.

XENA

Looks like you did all right.

ULYSSES

It was a tough treaty. My enemy wasn't easy
to convince, and I had to give up a lot.
But if the truce holds, it means our
survival so perhaps it's worth it.

XENA

What does he get out of it?

ULYSSES

Come on, I'll show you.

CUT TO:

INT. ULYSSES’ TREASURE ROOM - DAY

Xena, Gabrielle, and Ulysses enter. Inside is a vast treasure that Ulysses collected on his many travels.

ULYSSES

Besides my daughter, of course.
Half of this, and what he truly covets.

Ulysses points at the wall. Xena and Gabrielle look. It is a picture of Penelope, painted in gorgeously realistic color. It is truly spectacular.

GABRIELLE

Wow.

ULYSSES

He said he'd heard me bragging about having
a painting of the most beautiful woman in
the world, and he wanted it. That was the
lynch pin of the treaty, and I almost....

Ulysses stops speaking, and just shakes his head.

GABRIELLE

I think your wife would be honored
to know her image saved her people.

Ulysses looks at Gabrielle and smiles.

ULYSSES

You always had a way with words, Gabrielle.
You haven't changed a bit, either.

GABRIELLE

Actually, we've both changed more than you
could possibly imagine. But thanks anyway.

Xena walks over to look at the painting. She is honestly impressed.

XENA

Incredible work.

ULYSSES

Yes, it is. The artist is a native of Ithaca,
and her work is without compare.

Xena and Gabrielle exchange looks.

GABRIELLE

She doesn't live in a pink house, does she?

ULYSSES

Why, yes! Did you meet her?

Xena starts laughing.

XENA

Oh, yeah.

Ulysses joins her near the painting and looks up.

ULYSSES

I will be sorry to see her go. But you're
right, Gabrielle. She would be honored.

(beat)

Enough of this reflecting - my friends
are here. Let's go celebrate!

Ulysses offers his arm to Xena. Xena takes it, and they walk out.  Gabrielle examines the portrait for a moment in silence.

Thoughtfully, she turns and follows Xena and Ulysses.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO