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ACT FOUR
FADE IN:
INT. MAIN DECK - MORNING
Several scenes of Gabrielle helping pirates measure out and cut lengths of dried reed they use in their daily tasks.
INTERCUT TO:
INT. MAIN DECK - MORNING
Xena sitting with another group of pirates, making rope.
INTERCUT TO:
INT. MAIN DECK - EARLY AFTERNOON
Gabrielle helping the men haul up bales of hay from a secure hold and tossing them onto the deck.
INTERCUT TO:
INT. MAIN DECK - AFTERNOON
Xena holding a sewing class. The men laugh as one of their fellows holds up a pair of breeches with the waist sewn shut and one of the legs sewn to his sleeve. Xena rolls her eyes and uses her breast dagger to cut the man free from his breeches.
INTERCUT TO:
INT. MAIN DECK - LATE AFTERNOON
Gabrielle helps haul out large pots of renderings and fish oils that the pirates use to waterproof the wood. All the pirates lean forward and crane their necks as Gabrielle bends over the pot. They all snap to pale-faced and sweating attention as Xena shoots them a look hot enough to sear their boots to the decking.
INTERCUT TO:
INT. CAPTAIN’S CABIN - EARLY EVENING
Xena and Gabrielle pull away from a deep kiss. Gabrielle lifts the bottle Xena’s given her and waggles it. She tips her head back and mock-sips the clear liquid, smirking at the look Xena gives her.
With a kiss to the cheek and another waggle of the bottle, Gabrielle is gone, leaving Xena to stare after her with her hands on hips, shaking her head.
INTERCUT TO:
INT. MAIN DECK - EARLY EVENING
Gabrielle pours the liquid from the vial into a dipper of fresh water. Walking over to the groggily conscious Scarface, she tips his head back and holds the dipper to his lips. For a long moment, it looks as if he’s going to refuse, but then his thirst gets the better of him and he drinks deeply from the dipper, then from a second that Gabrielle offers him. Even though he tried to assault her, her touch is gentle and her eyes compassionate.
Scarface snarls at her and strains against his bonds with what little strength he’s managed to regain.
After making sure that he is unable to injure himself further, Gabrielle sighs and steps away.
INTERCUT TO:
EXT. CROW’S NEST - DUSK
PIRATE #5 LAND HO!!
CUT TO:
EXT. IKOS - DUSK
A lone man stands atop a high watchtower, bent forward at the waist and peering through squinting eyes out to sea.
LOOKOUT Ship ahoy!!
Four men, grouped around the bottom of the tower strain forward, but are unable to see anything in the rapidly encroaching twilight.
HEAD GUARD From where? Can you get a make on it?
LOOKOUT From the west!
There’s a short pause as he holds a very primitive “seeing glass” to his eye.
LOOKOUT (cont’d) She bears the marks of the Buzzard’s Wing!
The head guard sneers.
HEAD GUARD That’ll be Poxy Pete, that mangy cur. I warned him not to set one hair of his louse-ridden skull near this island again or I’d string him up to the nearest yardarm and skin him alive. Double check, now. Best be sure it’s him.
LOOKOUT Flyin’ his colors, sir! His men are at the rails, all armed!
HEAD GUARD Fall out, then, ya scurvy dogs! Man the long boats and take no prisoners!! A hundred dinars to the man who brings me Poxy Pete’s head!!
With a loud cheer, fifty men bolt from their hiding places on the narrow strip of shoreline on the north side of the island. They drag ten longboats into the water and quickly fill them, then set out toward the slowly approaching ship.
CUT TO:
EXT. SEA, JUST OUTSIDE THE BUZZARD’S WING - NIGHT
The longboats bump up against the Buzzard’s Wing’s hull as the men aboard them ready themselves for action.
INVADER Avast, ye white livered squids! Yer trespassin’ on Igor the Black’s property. Lay anchor and prepare to be boarded!
There’s a long moment of silence.
INVADER (cont’d) Last warnin’, ya belly crawlin’ wharf rats! Drop anchor and prepare ta be boarded!! All right then, you lot! Over the side! Send em all ta Davy Jones!
Hooting and hollering, several men jump onto the netting and scramble up the ship’s sides. Others produce grappling hooks and board by climbing the ropes attached to them.
CUT TO:
INT. BUZZARD’S WING MAIN DECK - NIGHT
The invaders stream onto the deck, swords and daggers at the ready. With a shout, the first man plunges his sword through the belly of a pirate, then pulls it out and stares, slack jawed.
Another man neatly beheads a pirate with a clean stroke, then watches, wide eyed, as the head bounces and rolls to the mizzenmast, then stops.
Soon, all of the invaders are simply standing still, their weapons limp at their sides, eyes round in confusion and disbelief.
The leader makes his way through the “carnage”, eyes as wide as any of his men.
LEADER Damnation seize my soul! What is all this?!?
INVADER We been crimped, sir! These are naught but straw dummies someone made up fer fun.
LEADER Crimped my arse! No bunch a cowardly whelps hornswaggles me! Poxy Pete is aboard this ship and not one man will rest until we find him! On your toes, men!
INVADERS
CUT TO:
EXT. SHALLOWS - NIGHT
In the shallows, several reeds disappear into the water to be replaced by the heads of Xena, Gabrielle, and the crew of the Buzzard’s Wing. Their faces are almost impossible to see, blackened as they are from generous applications of grease and fish oils.
BLONDEBEARD (whispered amazement) By thunder! If I wasn’t seein’ it with me own eyes, I wouldn’t be believin’ it.
He turns stunned eyes to Xena and Gabrielle.
BLONDEBEARD (cont’d) How…?
Gabrielle smirks.
GABRIELLE (offhandedly) Oh, just a little something we picked up in Troy.
Xena rolls her eyes.
BLONDEBEARD It’s a thing o’beauty all right. But what about Scarface? He’s sure to rat us out, the henhearted numbskull.
GABRIELLE (wider smirk) I wouldn’t worry about that. It’s nothing that a little linseed root won’t cure.
XENA Let’s get moving.
CUT TO:
INT. BUZZARD’S WING - NIGHT
INVADER Sir! Over here!
The leader strides up the steps to the wheelhouse and looks down in the direction that his compatriot is pointing. There, bound and gagged and tied to the wheel, lies Scarface.
LEADER Poseidon’s Trident! Scarface? What in Tartarus’ bloody deep are ye doin’ aboard this bilge-laden scow??
SCARFACE Mmph! Mmmph!!
Reaching down with the tip of his sword, the leader cuts the gag from Scarface’s mouth.
LEADER Talk, ya scallywag! Ye part of this tomfoolery?
SCARFACE Theena! Theena! Theena ‘id dis, neddlin’ nitch!
LEADER What? Speak like ya got a tongue in yer head, ya damn fool! I’m not understandin’ ya!
Scarface struggles against his bonds, redfaced with anger.
SCARFACE THEENA!!! The thole goat and thwim to thore! Height da Glack!
The leader looks at his fellow.
LEADER Ye ken what he’s tryin ta say?
INVADER Somethin’ about stealin’ a goat?
SCARFACE Goat! Goat!! GOAT!!
He swings his head in wild arcs, ostensibly trying to point to what he’s talking about.
INVADER (contemplating) I think he’s gone off his nut. Lookit ‘im foamin at the mouth like that.
INVADER #2 Cursed by the gods, me thinks. Bad one too, from the looks of it, poor sop.
SCARFACE THEEEEENNNAAAA!!!!!!
The men step back in disgust as copious amounts of spittle fly from his lips, coating their boots, pantlegs, and the deck liberally.
INVADER Best ta put him out of his misery, no?
LEADER Nay. The Black’s been knowin him since he was knee high to a tadpole. Best leave him here for now. Get on with the search! I want Poxy Pete’s head!
SCARFACE (enraged) THEEENAAAAAAA!!!!
CUT TO:
EXT. IKOS SHORE - NIGHT
Ikos is a rather barren piece of dirt and rock. A few wilted trees struggle valiantly against the prevailing winds, their roots sunk shallow in the gritty sand of the narrow strip of beach that surrounds the island. It is dominated by a tall, flat-topped cliff with sheer sides. At the top of the cliff, a huge walled fortress stands like a conquering hero surveying his newly acquired territories. A long, steep row of steps have been carved into the unforgiving, sun-bleached rock, and guards stand at every third step, torches blazing and weapons at the ready. It is the only entrance to the fortress.
Xena’s group of thirty-one is surprisingly unseen as they make their way in small groups silently ashore, far away from the main fortress’ main gate and its attendant guards.
Xena and Blonde Beard step off to one side as the others stand quietly in place, awaiting the next phase of the evening’s festivities.
XENA You know what to do.
BLONDEBEARD Aye, Cap’n, I’m sure. Been doin’ stuff like this since I was a wee guppy. We’ll be ready, no worries on that.
Xena nods.
XENA All right, then. Good luck.
BLONDEBEARD Fair winds to ya, Cap’n. See ya soon.
The two shake hands, then Blonde Beard beckons his group, fifteen in all and they disappear into the darkness, silent as wraiths.
XENA The rest of you, follow me.
CUT TO:
EXT. REAR OF CLIFF - NIGHT
Thirteen men and one woman line flat against the sheer wall of the cliff as Xena, a step away, stares along the top of the wall timing the guards who walk steady patterns around the perimeter.
Unlike the guards who man the posts in front of the fortress, these guards seem rather lax in their duties, though by the sound of raucous laughter and music heard just above the thunder of the surf, Xena can guess why.
After another moment, she nods to herself, then looks at several men who are awaiting her signal, coils of rope in their arms.
XENA Now.
Five grappling hooks, their clawed arms padded, land silently over the lip of the fortress’ wall. The pirates pull on them, insuring a snug fit, and nod to their Captain.
XENA (cont’d) Now.
In groups of five, the pirates scramble up the cliff face and the wall, leaping over and squatting flush against it. Xena and Gabrielle go up next. The maneuver is accomplished quickly, silently, and with no detection.
CUT TO:
EXT. FORTRESS WALL - NIGHT
A lone guard steps around the corner and feels the strength drain from his body as two fingers jab into his neck.
Gabrielle steps forward and catches the torch as the man drops it. As his knees hit the ground, Xena is there, tilting his face to meet hers. The pirates look on in awe.
XENA I’ve cut off the flow of blood to your brain. You have thirty seconds to tell me what I want to know or you die. Understand?
The guard nods frantically.
XENA (cont’d) Good. I’m looking for a woman and her two daughters. They were kidnapped half a moon ago for ransom. They are the family of Andros, an innkeeper from Perkotis.
GUARD I… don’t…the Black ransoms a lot of women and girls!
XENA Ah, but see, these are special. And I’d be very upset if I found out that something had happened to them. I don’t think you’d like to see me upset, would you?
The guard shakes his ‘no’ even more frantically.
XENA (cont’d) Didn’t think so.
She holds out a hand, and Gabrielle slips a waterproofed pouch into it. Opening the pouch, she shakes out a small painting, no larger than her hand. On it is an excellent rendering of Andros and his family. She shows it to the paralyzed guard.
XENA (cont’d) Recognize them?
The man squints, and Gabrielle helpfully lowers the torch for him.
GUARD I… I think so! They’re… being kept… on the third floor, in the east wing! Please! Can’t....
XENA How sure are you?
GUARD Sure! Sure! Please!
XENA Is there another way into the fortress besides the front door?
GUARD Guard’s entrance! Please! To… to the east!
XENA Good.
His neck is jabbed again, and a right cross sends him into slumberland.
Xena hands the pouch back to Gabrielle, takes the torch, and eyes her men.
XENA (cont’d) Let’s go.
CUT TO:
EXT. GUARD ENTRANCE - NIGHT
Two guards man the entrance. Both look to their left as a humming noise comes from the darkness beyond. Before they can make a move, Xena’s chakram takes them out of the picture and they slump to the ground on either side of the door. A pirate named Two Shakes presses his ear against the door, listening. Taking a deep breath, he grasps the handle and pulls. The interior is deserted. He beckons them forward.
Seven pirates enter through the now opened door. Xena touches Gabrielle’s arm just as she’s about to follow.
XENA Fifteen minutes. If you’re not back by then....
Gabrielle smiles and pat’s Xena’s belly.
GABRIELLE We’ll be fine. Now go raise some Tartarus.
Standing on her tiptoes, she steals a kiss from Xena’s lips.
GABRIELLE (cont’d) For luck.
She then disappears through the doorway and closes it softly behind her. Xena looks at the closed portal for another moment, then over at the remaining crew.
XENA Let’s do it.
CUT TO:
INT. CORRIDORS - NIGHT
Gabrielle pushes to the front and leads the men through the empty corridors of an unused section of the fortress judging from the dust on the floor and walls.
GABRIELLE (muttering) Stairs have gotta be around here somewhere.
TWO SHAKES Here they be, Ma’am.
GABRIELLE Thanks!
The pirate tips his kerchief to her to the guffaws of his fellows. He swats a few and they move on.
At the top of the steps stand four heavily armed guards. They hear the tread of bodies coming toward them, and one steps forward, torch raised.
GUARD Who goes there?
Gabrielle holds up a finger to her compatriots, gesturing for them to wait and follow her lead.
Pulling the flimsy top off of her shoulders and displaying her assets to their best advantage, she slinks up the remaining steps, her most seductive smile gracing her face.
GABRIELLE (throatily) Hello, boys. The Black thought you might be lonely up here all by yourselves, so he sent me over to…. (broader smile) …keep you company.
The men peer down at Gabrielle’s lovely face and form and leer. The leader steps back, arms wide in invitation.
With a coy smile, Gabrielle picks her way up the stairs, then nails the leader in the gut with a hard right, and straightens him back up with a knee to the nose. He flies back, knocking the two down in back of him, and she attacks the forth with a low kick to the shin, and a sweeping kick to the shoulder. He topples into an unconscious heap on top of the rest.
GABRIELLE (cont’d) C’mon up, guys! The coast is clear.
The pirates look at one another with disbelieving grins, and thunder up the remaining steps.
One lone door stands at the top of the stairs, and Gabrielle opens it with the skeleton key she’s appropriated from one of the unconscious guards.
CUT TO:
INT. ROOM - NIGHT
An attractive young woman huddles in the furthest corner, her two young daughters wrapped firmly in her desperate embrace. Her green eyes are huge with fright, but though her clothes are a bit worn and dirty, neither she nor her family look much the worse for wear.
Gabrielle enters slowly, a gentle smile on her face.
GABRIELLE It’s all right. We’re here to help. Are you the wife of Andros of Perkotis?
Still frightened, the woman nods.
GABRIELLE (cont’d) Good. My name is Gabrielle. I’m a friend of your husband’s.
WIFE Is… is he here? Is Andros here?
GABRIELLE No. He’s on the mainland. I’m here to take you home to him, all of you.
WIFE I… don’t....
Gabrielle steps forward, empty hands raised.
GABRIELLE It’s okay. I’m here to help, honest.
WIFE B... but my husband…
GABRIELLE ... will be fine as soon as he sees you again. He misses you terribly.
DAUGHTER Can we go with the pretty lady, Momma? I wanna see Daddy. Please?
After a very long moment, the woman finally nods.
Smiling, Gabrielle squats down and looks the young girls in the eyes.
GABRIELLE Now, I need you to help me, okay? You need to be very quiet and do exactly what I say. There are a lot of bad men here, but if you do just as I say, we’ll be on a boat back to your Daddy so fast, you won’t believe it. Can you both do that for me?
Both girls nod shyly.
Gabrielle grins.
GABRIELLE (cont’d) Good. Your Daddy is going to be so happy when he sees you again.
DAUGHTER #2 I miss him.
GABRIELLE Oh, honey, he misses you too. More than anything. So, let’s get back to him, okay?
DAUGHTER #2 Ok.
As Gabrielle stands, she feels a tiny palm press itself against hers. Smiling, she tenderly grasps the trusting hand and walks back to the open door, the mother and her other daughter following quickly behind.
CUT TO:
INT. FORTRESS, MAIN - NIGHT
In contrast to the heavily guarded steps, the main entrance to the fortress is unguarded. The massive doors are chocked open to admit the ocean breeze, and men and a few women wander drunkenly in and out of the massive structure, laughing and singing.
It’s therefore no surprise that Xena and her men fit right in, passing into the main room unnoticed by those around them. At Xena’s nod, the men split up, each going in a different direction through the milling knots of pirates and other unsavories.
In contrast to the men populating it, the room itself is massive and ornate, with items of value wherever one looks. Food and drink flow in abundance, and the music, though loud, is passably fair.
By this time, the party has been going on for hours, and Xena’s crew has no problem slicing off money belts and picking up other valuable trinkets strewn carelessly on the tables and the floor. Each of the pirates-turned-rescuers keeps a careful eye on his Captain, and when Xena gets close to the horribly garish throne that houses the overly corpulent form of Igor the Black, they spring into action.
One pirate throws a punch, another a kick, another a well-placed push, and soon the entire party has turned into a drunken brawl.
Xena uses the distraction to close the remaining distance to the throne, which sits upon a stone platform. She bounds upon the platform with ease, slipping behind the obscenely large man and slipping the edge of her dagger against the rolls of his exposed throat.
XENA Evening, Igor. I wish I’d have known you were having a party. I’d have brought a suitable gift.
Igor’s sunken eyes widen as he looks around desperately for help that suddenly isn’t there anymore.
IGOR Who... who are you?
XENA Someone who’s gonna give you some much needed advice
Igor grunts around the pressure of the knife tight against his throat.
XENA (cont’d) This is just a taste of what life’s gonna be like for you from now on, Igor. In fact, if I were you, I’d get out of the kidnapping business altogether. I have a feeling it’s gonna take a big turn for the worse.
IGOR (haughtily) How dare you….?!?
Xena laughs.
XENA You listen to me, little man. You’re very lucky you’re not armed, or you’d be a stain on the floor right now. If I hear that you’ve kidnapped one more of my friends, I’ll come back here and see how many cuts it takes before a pig like you dies.
She reinforces her point by pressing the sharp blade hard enough against his throat to draw blood.
Igor’s terrified scream goes unheard in the melee below.
She cocks her head, sensing Gabrielle’s presence somewhere nearby. Her eyes gleam.
XENA (cont’d) Remember what I said, Igor. I’ll be watching.
Just like that, she disappears as if she’d never been. Her battle cry sounds loud over the din, and her crew instantly heeds, slipping away from the fights they’ve started and heading for the door as the brawl continues behind them unhindered.
CUT TO:
EXT. FORTRESS - NIGHT
Just as the crew makes it outside of the fortress, a battered guard shuffles his way toward the door.
GUARD The prisoners! They’re escaping!!
PIRATE In there, man! Hurry! We’ll try and catch up to ‘em!
The guard nods gratefully and heads inside.
Xena’s crew laughs.
PIRATE (cont’d) What about the guards?
XENA You let me worry about that.
Unhooking her chakram, she gives it a perfect toss. It cuts down the row of torches on the left side of the stairs, then reverses itself and does the same to the right. The stairs are plunged into sudden blackness.
XENA (cont’d) Now! Move!
Xena’s crew flies down the stairs, past the confused guards who are wondering where their torches went. They make it to the shore in time to meet up with Gabrielle and her party.
Gabrielle grins.
GABRIELLE Perfect timing!
Xena returns the smile as she looks over the rescued woman and her daughters.
XENA (to Gabrielle) You did good.
GABRIELLE Of course. Now what?
VOICE (off camera) GET THEM!!
XENA We run.
CUT TO:
EXT. DOCK - NIGHT
The land gradually slopes upward to as the group moves east, and it is there that Igor has built a large dock for his ships. The dock is usually heavily guarded, but Xena can see that Blonde Beard has done his job well. The path is littered with bodies, alive and dead.
The dock currently harbors five ships, and all appear to be deserted except for the one on the very end; the grandest ship of them all, Igor’s personal vessel. From the bow, a large torch is swung back and forth in an arcing signal.
BLONDEBEARD (shouting) Ahoy, mateys! Quit swingin’ the lead and get your arses aboard! Ye be attractin’ rats!
From behind the fleeing group can be heard the thunder of many booted feet and the angry shouts of robbed men.
Xena, carrying one of the little girls, and Gabrielle carrying the other, double their speed, and the rest of the group follows suit. Up the stairs they run, then over the sturdy, weather-beaten planking of the dock. They can almost feel the drunken breath of the enraged mob on their shoulders.
PIRATE ARRRGGGHHH!!
The pirate goes down as a spear penetrates his calf. Several others stumble over him.
XENA Keep going!!! (to another pirate) Here, take her and get to the ship! Move!!
GABRIELLE Xena!
XENA Move! I’ll be right behind you! Go! GO!
Before she gets the chance to argue further, Gabrielle is pushed ahead by the tide of fleeing pirates heeding their Captain’s word. She gives in for the moment and picks up speed, cradling the young girl in her arms.
Standing guard over her fallen comrade, Xena unhooks her chakram and again lets fly. It takes down the first row of attackers and returns to her hand just as a second spear heads her way. Plucking it out of the air, she throws it back, grunting in satisfaction as it pierces the belly of an onrushing man.
She senses something to her right and turns to see three pirates flanking her and grinning.
XENA (cont’d) I told you to GO!
PIRATE #1 Not without you, Cap’n!
PIRATE #2 I be deaf in me right ear, Cap’n.
XENA I’ll make you deaf in both if you don’t move!
The pirate grins and shrugs, weapon drawn and at the ready.
Then, the mob is upon them and she has no time for further argument.
With sword, chakram, fists and feet, she battles against the mob. The bodies of the dead and injured pile at her feet as she uses her chakram to slit the throat of one while using her sword to disarm another. A lucky kick sends her to her knees, where she whirls her sword and thrusts behind her and up. The man about to skewer her drops his sword and falls on top of her, bearing her to the ground.
Punching and kicking, she frees herself from the pile and rises to her feet, only to be pushed forward as one of her own men collapses into her, a slashing cut blooming red across his chest.
A lucky swipe across her arm almost causes her to lose her sword, and she spins just in time to see a huge, ugly-faced man grinning fiercely and thrusting his own sword directly at her unprotected midsection.
Before she can raise her weapon to defend, the man’s eyes widen in shock, and he stumbles forward, to his knees, and then to his belly. A lone sai sticks out of his back. Xena looks up to see Gabrielle smirking at her.
XENA (growling, but inwardly pleased) Dammit! Doesn’t anybody listen to me anymore?!?
GABRIELLE ‘Fraid not… Cap’n!
Back to back, Xena and Gabrielle fight off the remainder of the mob, but they can easily see a second, even larger group heading their way. Xena pulls one of the uninjured pirates to her by his shirtfront.
XENA Get back to the ship and tell Blondebeard to cast off!
PIRATE #3 Not without you, Cap’n!
XENA (teeth bared) You do as I say! Now MOVE!!
Aided by a helpful shove that almost sends him into the ocean, the pirate runs toward the ship, shouting Xena’s orders as he moves.
XENA (cont’d) You two, get these men and yourselves back to the ship. Do it, now.
Shaken and white-faced, the men do as they’re told, bearing off their comrades with as much speed as they’re able.
XENA (cont’d) Gabrielle....
GABRIELLE Not a chance. Where you go, I go. Period.
Xena hands Gabrielle her sai.
XENA I was just going to give you this.
Gabrielle’s look tells Xena exactly how much she believes that little statement.
Xena sighs and turns back toward the onrushing mob. The vanguard, a group of ten men, is twenty yards away. The rest are fifty yards beyond it, almost consumed by the darkness.
XENA (cont’d) Let’s take these out, and when I tell you to, run back to the ship as fast as you can. Don’t stop, don’t look back, just run. Got me?
After a moment, Gabrielle nods, trusting Xena’s instincts.
The vanguard is upon them, and together Xena and Gabrielle make short work of the mostly drunken men. A few kicks, punches, and sword blows later, the group is piled unconscious at their feet.
XENA (cont’d) Now. Run.
Without hesitation, Gabrielle turns and takes off toward the ship. It has already left its slip and is slowly sailing parallel to the dock. She can see the concerned faces of the pirates as they stand at the rail shouting for her and their Captain.
The wooden planks fly by as she puts on a burst of speed. The skin at the back of her neck tingles suddenly, and she grins.
XENA (cont’d) GABRIELLE! Get ready to JUMP!
Sticking out her left hand like a runner on an Olympiad relay team, Gabrielle catches Xena’s grip and holds on tight, allowing her longer-legged partner to help pull her along those last few feet to the dock’s edge.
GABRIELLE Ready!
XENA NOW!
In perfect tandem, the pair hits the end of the dock and jumps high into the air. Flipping once without losing contact with one another, they land together on the deck of the ship to the raucous cheers of their crew.
Pumping her fist into the air in triumph, Gabrielle then turns and grabs Xena in a tight embrace as the men surround them, pounding on their backs and shoulders. She turns her head to watch in amusement as the remaining members of the mob come to a skidding stop at the edge of the dock and shout at them in rage.
Chuckling, she gazes up at Xena, eyes sparkling.
GABRIELLE Ya know, this pirate stuff isn’t too bad.
Xena leans forward and gives Gabrielle a kiss that makes even the pirates blush. Pulling away, she grins.
XENA Yo Ho Ho.
FADE OUT.
END ACT FOUR TAG
FADE IN:
INT. THE HEADMAN’S INN MAIN RECEPTION ROOM - NIGHT
The Headman’s Inn is jammed to the rafters, though fully thirty of these jolly souls look quite out of place among the eloquent décor and moneyed clientele. No one, however, seems to mind. The night’s orchestral musings have been replaced by thirty odd pirates and their admirers singing a bawdy tunes while working their way into stupefied drunkenness.
PIRATES Fifteen men on a dead man's chest…
CROWD Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum!
PIRATES Drink and the devil had done for the rest…
CROWD Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum!
PIRATES
The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike
CROWD Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum!
CUT TO:
INT. HEADMAN’S INN - ANTEROOM - NIGHT
Andros peers into the crowded and raucous reception hall, his family gathered close about him. All bear smiles which wreath their faces and appear to have become permanent fixtures. Tears of happiness slowly dry on Andros’ cheeks.
Xena and Gabrielle, dressed in their traditional clothes, stand beside them, drinks in hand.
ANDROS I still can’t believe it. I never hoped…never dreamed…. And I have you to thank. Both of you. I could never repay what you’ve done for me, Xena and Gabrielle. Never.
XENA It’s not necessary.
GABRIELLE Seeing you all together again is more than enough for us.
ANDROS But, surely....
GABRIELLE Love them well. That’s all we ask.
ANDROS (beaming) An easier request was never granted. Please say you’ll stay the night, at least.
Xena and Gabrielle exchange looks. Both grin.
GABRIELLE That is something we can accept with thanks.
ANDROS Wonderful! Let me show you to your room.
XENA Oh…I think we can find it ourselves.
Andros looks at them both, easily seeing the love between.
ANDROS You know? I think you’re right.
CUT TO:
INT. HEADMAN’S INN - STAIRS - NIGHT
About to head toward their room, Xena and Gabrielle narrowly miss running into Blonde Beard, staggeringly drunk and a mug in each hand.
BLONDEBEARD Ahoy, mateys! Ye can’t be turnin’ in already! The party’s just startin! C’mon and join me in a mug o’grog. It’s just stu…stu…stu…really good!
XENA (smirking) I can see that. I think you’ve had enough for the three of us.
Blonde Beard polishes off both mugs in two gulps, then stands swaying.
BLONDEBEARD Ye be tellin’ the truth at that!
Gabrielle pats his arm, laughing.
GABRIELLE So, where to from here? Back to the high seas?
BLONDEBEARD Not sure yet. The Cap’n here made us rich lads. I might want ta savor it for awhile. Or maybe not. Bein’ a pirate’s what I know, and I’ll never stay too long away from my lady, the sea.
He sobers.
BLONDEBEARD (cont’d) I wanna thank ye both, Xena and Gabrielle. T’was the first honest work I’ve done fer…gods, forever, it seems. Felt pretty good. Mebbe there’s somethin’ ta this rescuin’ the innocent business after all. I’ll have ta think on it.
XENA You do that.
Reaching out, she clasps his arm.
XENA (cont’d) Thank you for your help. We couldn’t have done it without you.
Blonde Beard blushes to the roots of his hair and looks down at his feet. Then he looks up, smiling.
BLONDEBEARD Aww, twern’t nothin’, Cap’n. If ya ever need a hand, on the high seas or off, you just call out for Blondebeard the Pirate, all right?
GABRIELLE We promise.
He nods.
BLONDEBEARD All righty, then. Be off with ya, landlubbers. I’ve got me some more celebratin’ ta do.
Xena and Gabrielle watch as he toddles drunkenly off to join his fellows as we....
FADE OUT. |
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DISCLAIMER The secret language of the pirates was severely mutilated during the making of this motion picture. |
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