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Production #V905 - Episode 05 |
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WRITTEN
BY
DIRECTED BY PRODUCED
BY |
SCREENGRABS ARTWORK EPISODE
TITLE GRAPHIC |
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FADE IN:
EXT. CAMP - BEFORE DAWN
It is a well-laid camp. A fire, banked to smoldering coals, glows mellowly in the darkness. Off to one side, a gold-colored mare twitches in her sleep, stamps one hoof, and swishes her tail before settling.
Closer to the fire, a large, rumpled bedroll is laid out, and beneath the fur cover two figures lay cocooned tightly against one another. The smaller of the two figures shifts, then shifts again, pulling slightly away from the comfortable grasp of her partner.
Another groan and she flips onto her side. Green eyes pop open and scowl.
XENA (fuzzily) Wha...? What is it?
GABRIELLE (grumpily) Rock.
One hand darts from beneath the warm blanket and searches around the ground under the bedroll until the offending rock is plucked up and tossed away.
XENA Better?
Gabrielle squirms around, feeling for more rocks with the length of her body. Finding none, she smiles, satisfied.
GABRIELLE Much.
XENA Good. C’mere.
Her smile broadening and her eyes closing, Gabrielle willingly snuggles back into Xena’s warm embrace.
All is silent for a moment.
Then....
Gabrielle’s face twitches. She scrunches her nose, then brushes a hand against her cheek. Suddenly a sharp smack is heard, and Gabrielle once again opens her eyes, scowling.
GABRIELLE Ouch.
XENA You all right?
GABRIELLE Tartarus blasted mosquitoes. Why don’t they ever pick on you?!
XENA (still sleepy) ‘Cause you’re a lot sweeter than I am.
GABRIELLE You know, Xena? Any other night, that might work. But tonight?
She growls.
GABRIELLE (cont’d) It’s almost dawn, and I’ve had an hour’s sleep, if that.
Xena opens one eye.
XENA We’ll sleep in, then. Don’t have anywhere we particularly need to be.
GABRIELLE Easy for you to say. You don’t have mosquitoes using you for target practice.
Xena grins.
XENA C’mere.
As Gabrielle rolls back to her, Xena tugs the fur blanket up so that it is covering all but the very top of Gabrielle’s head.
XENA (cont’d) Can you breathe all right down there?
Gabrielle takes in a deep breath through her nose, smiling as she inhales the scent of leather and Xena.
GABRIELLE (purring) Oh yeah.
XENA Good. Try and get some sleep. I’ll keep mosquito watch.
CUT TO:
EXT. CAMP - A LITTLE AFTER DAWN
Gabrielle awakens abruptly yet again. Keeping her eyes closed, she attempts to determine what has disturbed her slumber this time. No rocks. No mosquitoes. A searching hand makes its way to Xena’s side of the bedroll, only to find it empty. Not that this is surprising.
Finally, with a heartfelt sigh, she opens her eyes.
To find a rotten-toothed, ill dressed, unshaven, and stinking mass of humanity ogling her from above.
Grabbing her sais from the ground next to her, Gabrielle uses the butt of the left one to take the man’s knee out, then quickly hops to her feet as he collapses onto the bedrolls.
XENA (cackling) Told ya!
The fallen man simply holds his knee and groans.
Gabrielle looks to her right to see Xena fighting four similarly disgusting bandits. Two more see her and head her way. She easily downs the first one with a right-left combination to the chest and a spinning kick to the head.
The second one, more cautious than his fellows, takes a little more time. After finally egging him into attacking with his sword, she catches the clumsy swipe with both of her sais, rips the weapon from his hands, drops the sais, and jabs two sets of fingers into his neck.
The man drops to his knees, breathless.
GABRIELLE I was in a bad mood already, buddy, and you just made it worse. So if you don’t want the last thirty seconds of your life to be spent like this, I’d suggest you tell me what I want to know.
Having finished off with her own set of scumbags, Xena looks on, arms crossed over her chest, clearly impressed.
BANDIT Wh-what??
GABRIELLE What in Tartarus are you doing here? Saw two women sleeping alone in the woods and what? Wanted to invite us over for tea??
BANDIT M-m-money! J-jewels!
Leaning back, Gabrielle laughs. It’s not a very genuine laugh, but it’s a laugh nonetheless.
GABRIELLE Oh, buddy, did you ever pick the wrong camp! Do you see any jewels lying around here? Any money, for that matter?
BANDIT (seriously short of breath) P-please!
Gabrielle pretends to think about his plea.
GABRIELLE I dunno. Xena....
BANDIT
GABRIELLE (grinning) Didn’t realize that either, didja? (beat) As I was saying, Xena, do you think I should take the pinch off, or should I keep the “stupid” genes from polluting the pool?
Xena smirks.
XENA Your call.
Gabrielle pretends to think a second longer, then with lightning speed, undoes the pinch. The man falls forward, gasping for breath. Gabrielle grabs his shoulder and pushes so they are again face to face. She leans in close.
GABRIELLE You might wanna leave now. Before I change my mind.
With wide eyes, the man jumps to his feet and runs out of the camp. The rest of his buddies are all the worse for wear and limp after him, holding tight to various wounds.
Still smirking, Xena crosses the clearing until she is by Gabrielle’s side.
XENA Well, that was a refreshing pick-me-up, don’t you think?
Gabrielle growls.
Laughing, Xena pulls Gabrielle in close and kisses the top of her head.
XENA (cont’d) Sorry ‘bout that. I keep warning them to just stick with me, but they don’t wanna listen.
GABRIELLE Yeah, well, could you do me a favor?
XENA Name it.
GABRIELLE There’s a coastal town not far from here. Can we go there and sleep in an honest-to-gods inn tonight? I’m sick of rocks. I’m sick of bugs. And I’m sick of drooling, smelly bandits interrupting my sleep. Please?
XENA Sure.
Gabrielle pulls away slowly, disbelief evident on her face.
GABRIELLE Sure? That easy? No arm twisting? No cajoling? No pleading?
Xena grins.
XENA What Gabrielle wants, Gabrielle gets.
FADE OUT. |
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END OF TEASER |
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